My mental health



 No more Facebook. I do find myself missing it sometimes, but really when I went on Facebook I got sucked into all that drama. Especially with all the moms complaining about school and planning protests. It was a way to be nosey and up in everyone's business. Which was easy because people post their private business on the internet. I mean, that is what a blog is for, right? Anyway, I do find myself in a better mood without Facebook. 

I don't know who is reading this, I love when you guys leave any comments. So, for the most part I am doing good. I have my ups and downs for sure. There are some days that I wake up and I'm like, "Today is going to be a great day!" Then there are days that I wake up and want to stay in bed all day. I miss my kid being able to go to school and hang out with their friends, hug their teacher, and play like kids are supposed to play. So, our school district is giving us parents the choice... We can send our kids to school with limitations. Masks, social distancing, and I'm not even sure of all the restrictions. They would be at school Tuesday thru Friday and they would be AM or PM. So AM would be 8:50-11:30 and PM would be 12:40-3:15. Oh, and  siblings may or may not be on the same schedule, so even if I sent my kids back to school one might be on AM while the other is on PM. I hate all the uncertainty. This is bullshit. 

We chose to do online for the full school year. I hate it. It's not what I want for my kids, but it's like voting, this is the lesser of two evils. At least this will provide stablity for my kids. I'm not afraid of them getting sick, they are kids, they have germs... We all have germs. Look, if anyone in my household got COVID they would very likely recover. I want my kid to be able to play and run around without a mask... And how do people exercise with a mask on? I have a hard enough time being at the store with a mask. Okay, I was going somewhere with all this. Oh yes, so online school for the year. Oh, and on campus school starts the beginning of November. So, this means my kids might each get a different teacher. Which really sucks. They have been with these teachers for a month now and boom things are likely going to change. I'm sure the kids will be fine, but it still sucks. I'm not really concerned about Evan's teacher changing. He's got a great teacher, the whole 3rd grade team is fantastic. So it's good. I suppose the biggest reason I'm worried about Claire getting a different teacher is because she has Evan's 1st grade teacher. I have developed a friendship with the teacher and my kids and I have formed a bond with the teacher. Online is the only way we can have stablity, because just wait, I'm sure after school starts classes will shut down again because of positive cases of COVID. 

Have I mentioned I really HATE the unkown? Halloween. I mean come on... It's my favorite holiday and I can't wait to decorate. My plan is to trick or treat. See, this is why it's good that I'm off Facebook. I'd get caught up in my neighborhood drama of will there be trick or treating or not. 

Positive news... My parents bought a house in Lincoln!!! It's about 15 minutes away from my house. They should be all moved in before Halloween! I am so excited!!! More positive news, our church is meeting again, inside!!! Oh yes, the air quality here has been really crappy because of the wildfires. So yay! Today the air is good and the sky is blue. I never thought I'd be so excited to go back to church. They have their kids program running whis is AMAZING. It's the one place I can go to feel normal. Masks are encouraged but not required. 

I haven't had any alcohol since June. I even went out for a girls night and drank a virgin margarita. I'm pretty excited about that. Just like Facebook, I really miss alcohol sometimes. But, it was a problem. So through all this I am trying to improve myself. Life is not easy right now and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like we're all stuck in this dream like state. Okay, more like a nightmare. I think that is it for now. Obviously my brain is all over the place.







Comments

  1. kekeniSeptember 19, 2020 at 9:28 AM

    You are awesome, cousin! Love these pictures. So proud of you for being proactive about looking after yourself. I love you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Borba FamilySeptember 19, 2020 at 9:42 AM

      I love you too. I feel so good to have a place to be brutally honest. It's freeing, and theraputic.

      Delete
  2. DeniseSeptember 19, 2020 at 12:51 PM

    I love you friend from the top hair to the tip of your toe, but mostly I love your heart. The honest, genuine, loving, caring heart God has given you. It's one of the reasons you feel so deeply about decisions. I am grateful you can meet as a church. I think I'm going to sob the first week back...when that happens. So glad your mom is there. I hate all the changes happening here too in education. Our grade level lost a new teacher (love her) because numbers are low in kinder and a kinder teaching is moving up and oh my... HOW THESE DECISIONS greatly affect our kiddos on top of everything else! Let's just be there for these kiddos and be something positive in the midst of the chaos. I now just check in FB on Saturdays. My have a FB page for my Wednesday night group so that is what I check during the week. Love you friend. Still want to visit. I'm going to MN for my October break this year. Going to hug my family long and hard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Borba FamilySeptember 19, 2020 at 2:28 PM

      I love you so much lady, thank you for your response. I cried during church on Sunday it was just so awesome. I cannot wait to give you a big hug. My parents will be living in their new house before Halloween.

      Delete
  3. RobynHernandezSeptember 28, 2020 at 10:11 PM

    Heather, you are wonderful. I love your honesty and your heart. You have made some tough decisions and have come out for the better. You are attentive to your beautiful children, you are aware of yourself and the realities of what could be, and you do it all with a refreshing openness. I love you so much and am proud of how you are handling it all. I love you much.

    ReplyDelete

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